Hello Hope
Hiya! It's Rave and here is something that I've been struggling and growing from recently. Hope that it may inspire some of you and for those who can relate, you're not alone. Here goes!
Disappointment sucks.
The feeling of falling short, inadequacy and simply a lack of gratification in ones self can be the most demoralizing thing ever. Working hard on one's craft for the sake of one goal, and being told it wasn't enough can bring a person to the point of defeat. A defeat which can last for days, months and even years.
When I was in Grade 4, I played in the Athelite Youth Basketball League (AYBL). This league was literally my life. Every week, I would look forward to Saturday because that was when the games would take place. I remember dominating my age group with my team and the best part was not the winning, but the simple enjoyment of playing the game. Playing the game I loved while laughing and bonding with my teammates gave me a certain high at that point in my life. However, as I grew in age (and height), my teammates grew as well and eventually became too old to play. Then the losing began. FYI - I hate losing. Especially when I was a kid. I could feel my love for the game slowly fading and disappearing with every game that saw me on the losing side, getting blown out by 20. I was disappointed because I refused to believe that the times had changed. As a 10 year old, it was a hard pill to swallow but hey, at least the lesson started young.
Fast forward to my Grade 10 year at Holy Cross, one of the worst years of my life. Basketball was still pretty big at this stage of my life and to my surprise, I made the Junior Basketball Team amidst a talented pool of players. I headed into that season with so much confidence and pride in myself because I truly believed I had the potential to be great!
Welp.
After the few first months on the team, I found myself at the end of the bench clapping and high five-ing more than anyone else on our roster. The reality of the situation didn't sink in until a game in January when I was the only player who didn't play in the opening game of our own tournament. It didn't matter where we played or who we played, I was still struggling to find my minutes. The lack of opportunities to play and my own toxic attitude began to collide until it was a total train wreck. I gave up basketball. I didn't try out the next year. And most of all, I felt like I had hit rock bottom. One of the things I loved was out of my life just like that. Where do I go now?
Thank You for the gift of music.
Quick backstory - I picked up the guitar three years ago, after being inspired by a man who I seriously think resembles an Asian John Mayer and also is one of the most deadliest three point shooters I know. If you've never picked up a guitar before, a warning to you - it hurts for the first couple of weeks, like a lot. Calluses will cover your fingertips like white on rice and you'll constantly get comments like, "Oh my gosh! Your fingertips are really rough!". These were all of the things (and more) that I had to persevere through the first year. It all began with taking the leap and before I knew it, I was serenading family members and close friends all the time. This gift of the guitar, of music, helped me get through the disappointing moments in my life. Not only this, but being able to let out all my negative emotions through my strumming and my chords was and still is my go to method of feeling better. To no longer be disappointed but to be hopeful.
To have hope in the fact that disappointment is a lifelong struggle that everyone deals with. Disappointment will always be disappointment unless something else replaces it. Acceptance. To take everything as it is comes.
To be able to accept the experiences that we go through and we grow through.
Instead of wallowing in sadness and disbelief, go out and do something that will make you happy again. That will make you believe in something once again.
"Hello!"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Hope."
Kick your disappointment and your sorrow out of the house of your soul - invite hopefulness and gratefulness once more. They haven't visited in a while, why not invite them in now?
sperare semper
Disappointment sucks.
The feeling of falling short, inadequacy and simply a lack of gratification in ones self can be the most demoralizing thing ever. Working hard on one's craft for the sake of one goal, and being told it wasn't enough can bring a person to the point of defeat. A defeat which can last for days, months and even years.
When I was in Grade 4, I played in the Athelite Youth Basketball League (AYBL). This league was literally my life. Every week, I would look forward to Saturday because that was when the games would take place. I remember dominating my age group with my team and the best part was not the winning, but the simple enjoyment of playing the game. Playing the game I loved while laughing and bonding with my teammates gave me a certain high at that point in my life. However, as I grew in age (and height), my teammates grew as well and eventually became too old to play. Then the losing began. FYI - I hate losing. Especially when I was a kid. I could feel my love for the game slowly fading and disappearing with every game that saw me on the losing side, getting blown out by 20. I was disappointed because I refused to believe that the times had changed. As a 10 year old, it was a hard pill to swallow but hey, at least the lesson started young.
Fast forward to my Grade 10 year at Holy Cross, one of the worst years of my life. Basketball was still pretty big at this stage of my life and to my surprise, I made the Junior Basketball Team amidst a talented pool of players. I headed into that season with so much confidence and pride in myself because I truly believed I had the potential to be great!
Welp.
After the few first months on the team, I found myself at the end of the bench clapping and high five-ing more than anyone else on our roster. The reality of the situation didn't sink in until a game in January when I was the only player who didn't play in the opening game of our own tournament. It didn't matter where we played or who we played, I was still struggling to find my minutes. The lack of opportunities to play and my own toxic attitude began to collide until it was a total train wreck. I gave up basketball. I didn't try out the next year. And most of all, I felt like I had hit rock bottom. One of the things I loved was out of my life just like that. Where do I go now?
Thank You for the gift of music.
Quick backstory - I picked up the guitar three years ago, after being inspired by a man who I seriously think resembles an Asian John Mayer and also is one of the most deadliest three point shooters I know. If you've never picked up a guitar before, a warning to you - it hurts for the first couple of weeks, like a lot. Calluses will cover your fingertips like white on rice and you'll constantly get comments like, "Oh my gosh! Your fingertips are really rough!". These were all of the things (and more) that I had to persevere through the first year. It all began with taking the leap and before I knew it, I was serenading family members and close friends all the time. This gift of the guitar, of music, helped me get through the disappointing moments in my life. Not only this, but being able to let out all my negative emotions through my strumming and my chords was and still is my go to method of feeling better. To no longer be disappointed but to be hopeful.
To have hope in the fact that disappointment is a lifelong struggle that everyone deals with. Disappointment will always be disappointment unless something else replaces it. Acceptance. To take everything as it is comes.
To be able to accept the experiences that we go through and we grow through.
Instead of wallowing in sadness and disbelief, go out and do something that will make you happy again. That will make you believe in something once again.
"Hello!"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Hope."
Kick your disappointment and your sorrow out of the house of your soul - invite hopefulness and gratefulness once more. They haven't visited in a while, why not invite them in now?
sperare semper
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