The Now
Hello! Here's a quick post on something that has been on my mind lately and an experience I am currently growing through. I hope you enjoy the read and thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. It means a lot.
Being late.
Late to work, late to school, or in any other instances that involve us not showing up on time can be a frustrating experience. In my case, I've always tried to be at the right place, at the right time. But the occasional mishap or mistake happens and I find myself walking into a room with hundreds of eyes glared at me - it's not a fun experience. In regards to how this applies to my life right now, there's been many moments (recently) that have left me with that same feeling - the feeling of missing out on something because the timing wasn't right.
Throughout the past few months, I've really been feeling like one of those superheroes who are given a mission to do within a set amount of time. To use as an example, The Flash has been one of my favourite shows to watch on TV. Not only because of his super cool power of super speed but also because of the seemingly impossible tasks that he is constantly given to do in each episode. This morning, I watched an episode where his opponent (Captain Cold) used his freeze gun and fired at a civilian. You must be thinking, "Then Flash came and saved him! Duhh." However to my surprise, he wasn't fast enough. The blast from the gun was too quick (even for the Flash) and the man died because of it. Although it was in the early stages of his career as the fastest man alive, even he wasn't fast enough to save a man.
Even he was late.
It's difficult to live with an internal timer. The feeling of having this much time to get a job, this much time to get an A, this much time to be successful and so on. As if every goal or task held enormous weight on it and it came at the expense of our thoughts, our future and even our anxiety. I myself have struggled with the questions of "Why am I here and not there?" Imagining all the places I should be rather than focusing on the all the places where I am is a tiring habit (one of which I am trying to break). There are some days where I want to fast forward to the part of my life where I have everything figured out and the timing is just right. The part of my life where for once I don't feel late, or even feel early but just perfect.
This fantasy is a part of my life and mindset that I have been trying to get rid of because it offers a false hope. Recently I've been accepting more and denying less. This has allowed me to love where I'm at rather than being something that I am not. Yet.
To be all I am, accepting all I was and finding all I will be.
As a practicing Catholic youth, I am captivated to trust my beliefs and The One who gave up His life for me. To trust especially when I am given countless reasons to doubt, to fear, to worry. And recently I've prayed and sought solace in one statement - Lord, make my will Yours.
The clock does not belong to me
The hands that tick are not mine to control
The things that happen, are meant to
Like flowing streams of water
Your Will flows into my life
until it empties out
into the Ocean of Your Love
When the time in our lives serves a higher purpose than ourselves, only then will it be made worthwhile. I challenge the reader (only when it's not necessary) to avoid looking at the time throughout the day. Rather than having our focus on the things to come, why not focus on the things of the now?
Like a wise ninja grandmaster turtle once said -
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
tempus tuam
Being late.
Late to work, late to school, or in any other instances that involve us not showing up on time can be a frustrating experience. In my case, I've always tried to be at the right place, at the right time. But the occasional mishap or mistake happens and I find myself walking into a room with hundreds of eyes glared at me - it's not a fun experience. In regards to how this applies to my life right now, there's been many moments (recently) that have left me with that same feeling - the feeling of missing out on something because the timing wasn't right.
Throughout the past few months, I've really been feeling like one of those superheroes who are given a mission to do within a set amount of time. To use as an example, The Flash has been one of my favourite shows to watch on TV. Not only because of his super cool power of super speed but also because of the seemingly impossible tasks that he is constantly given to do in each episode. This morning, I watched an episode where his opponent (Captain Cold) used his freeze gun and fired at a civilian. You must be thinking, "Then Flash came and saved him! Duhh." However to my surprise, he wasn't fast enough. The blast from the gun was too quick (even for the Flash) and the man died because of it. Although it was in the early stages of his career as the fastest man alive, even he wasn't fast enough to save a man. Even he was late.
It's difficult to live with an internal timer. The feeling of having this much time to get a job, this much time to get an A, this much time to be successful and so on. As if every goal or task held enormous weight on it and it came at the expense of our thoughts, our future and even our anxiety. I myself have struggled with the questions of "Why am I here and not there?" Imagining all the places I should be rather than focusing on the all the places where I am is a tiring habit (one of which I am trying to break). There are some days where I want to fast forward to the part of my life where I have everything figured out and the timing is just right. The part of my life where for once I don't feel late, or even feel early but just perfect.
This fantasy is a part of my life and mindset that I have been trying to get rid of because it offers a false hope. Recently I've been accepting more and denying less. This has allowed me to love where I'm at rather than being something that I am not. Yet.
To be all I am, accepting all I was and finding all I will be.
As a practicing Catholic youth, I am captivated to trust my beliefs and The One who gave up His life for me. To trust especially when I am given countless reasons to doubt, to fear, to worry. And recently I've prayed and sought solace in one statement - Lord, make my will Yours.
The clock does not belong to me
The hands that tick are not mine to control
The things that happen, are meant to
Like flowing streams of water
Your Will flows into my life
until it empties out
into the Ocean of Your Love
When the time in our lives serves a higher purpose than ourselves, only then will it be made worthwhile. I challenge the reader (only when it's not necessary) to avoid looking at the time throughout the day. Rather than having our focus on the things to come, why not focus on the things of the now?
Like a wise ninja grandmaster turtle once said -
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
tempus tuam
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