bababa_ba* ba..

If you wanna dance, dance with me! She yelled across the cavernous hall loud enough for everyone to hear. They laughed collectively and returned to the arms of their partner, gazing into each other's eyes and swaying to the slow beat. Hand in hand, steps in coordination with the other as the night expanded outwards like the universe itself was contained within the walls. Her arm was outstretched into the air, directed towards me. I had my back against the wall with a drink in my hand. We were required to dress in our Sunday best and so there was a black tie hanging loosely around my unbuttoned collar, it was easier to breathe. And before she could change her mind, I walked over. 

    There was a sudden but sure silence as I inched my way closer to her. She had lowered her arm and put both of them by her sides swaying along with the song just as everyone else was doing with another. But she was alone and I didn't want her to be. Perhaps it is better for two strangers to share an intimacy for a moment than for two strangers to indulge in a loneliness for a lifetime. Maybe this is why people are so quick and eager to pair up with another, because there is a space that needs to filled. And it is the lonely, the ugly, the miserable, the abandoned, the forgotten, who must cope with this gap all by their lonesome. He stares at his hand and realizes it'd fit better in another's, she ponders her heart and all of the pieces she has left to give before there is nothing at all to give. Devoted wholeheartedly to the idea that there is someone out there somewhere who is perfectly made for them and has learned the intricacies of their being before they've known it themselves. Another half to complete the dance, to ensure that hands are held and hearts are caressed by tender words like autumn leaves that kiss the broken sidewalk. Soulmates. 

    What a load of bullshit, I thought. Tonight is the night for me and this girl, tomorrow it may be no one, next week it may be no one, a decade from now it may be no one. But in this moment, this gym with these people, she's asked me to dance with her. And perhaps there is also a hole that needs to be filled in her heart, before it collapses and consumes everything that surrounds it in an overwhelming mass of blackness and misery. I am here to prevent that from happening, nothing more. She is to be loved like Christmas mornings and the night before a New Year, adored like Spring daisies and soft snow that falls in early December, thought about like goddesses and taken like drugs on the eve of high school graduation, moments such as these that are merely fading with every second that passes. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, the clock continues to move and I am on the way. 

    She recognized my approach and smiled out of the corner of her lip, as if she were saying to me, about time you came over here. I swiftly took her into my arms and began to move from side to side, in rhythm with the piano of the simple tune. Startled, she laughed. 

    I'm not looking for anything serious. 

    I know. 

    Is that okay with you? 

    Of course.
    Why is that okay with you? 

    Because you and I are both in need of something that only you and I have. 

    We are? 

    Of course.
    I've been looking for you. 

    I know. 

    Good. 

    She lay her head on my shoulder and the colours on the ceiling exploded into a mural of vivid hues and vibrant mixtures of sunshine yellow, lilac purple, river blue, autumn orange, fiery red, and every single colour there was and ever will be entered through us and penetrated our bodies like trees struck by lighting.  We continued to sway until everything around us had dissolved into a blanket of white, we were against this canvas. Our words disappeared in the space in between my lips and the top of her head, our bodies followed along. I looked down and I could not see anything anymore.

    But I felt her close to me and in my arms, with my eyes closed and my body gone, I still felt her here. I could hear her soft breathing against my chest, listening the sound of my heartbeat. Slow and steady like the movement of an afternoon sky after a morning shower, the clouds moved apart from each other until nothin remained but emptiness. But was it really empty? I looked again and realized that it was not empty, but open. And whatever had been opened, had been beautiful.

    Is this everything you wanted? 

    Everything and more.

    I'm glad. 

    Me too. 

    We're really gone now, aren't we? 

    Gone but not forgotten. 

    Wonderful. 

    Stay.  

    I have to say goodbye now. 

    Okay. 

    Thank you. 

    Goodbye. 

    Goodbye.