Onwards, Upwards
Good evening! This weekend I was incredibly blessed with the opportunity to attend the CFC-Youth True North Conference held at Chandos Pattison Auditorium in Surrey, BC. If I'm being completely honest, I find it difficult to summarize such a profound and significant event but I feel a desire in my heart to write anyways. (Thanks God)
Please bear with me as I try to organize my thoughts and feelings in an orderly manner and thank you for taking time out of your day to read this impromptu blog post. This will be a one take post with minimal editing so as to maximize the rawness and authenticity of the writing, yahoo!
Before I get into the conference itself, I'm going to provide a little backstory if you will, so that you may better understand the path that brought me to this point in my life.
In March of 2014, I joined the chapter of East 2 through the event, Camp Exalted. Here I was able to learn more about my faith in an intimate environment, as I grew to love and grow comfortable with the unfamiliar faces around me.
Little did I know that one of those unfamiliar faces would one day be my chapter head and one of the wisest brothers I know. Another one of those faces would be on stage at TNC XXV, singing her heart out. While another would be dancing on the Production team whilst also winning Junior Dance for his cluster.
Fast forward to March of 2016, where I was asked to serve as Spec Ops with a service team that I barely knew. Stepping out of my comfort zone and getting to know them brought about wonders for future Rave.
This amazing collection of people would include someone with the highest vocal range of any guy I know, a future chapter head of East 2, a couple of TNC XXV Senior Girls Basketball champions, a brother with the coolest Naruto stickers on his laptop and another brother who still refuses to cut his hair.
Lastly to cap off keystone moments during the last 5 years of my time in CFC-Youth, Camp Vision in November of 2017. Being asked to step up as a household head for 3 incredibly wonderful brothers who continue to surprise me with their growth and passion to serve the Lord despite my own shortcomings as their leader. I am glad for their presence in my life and the impact they've had on my journey to holiness.
And if you've made it this far without closing the tab - July of 2019, True North Conference.
A string of three days that bore fruits of newfound desires and rooted out weeds of bad habits and mindsets. Trust me when I tell you that you can always count on God to call you out when you need to be. And it's not because He is angry or disappointed but simply because He wants the best for us; especially when we believe that all seems lost.
Entering the weekend, I found myself in the midst of a sea of uncertainty. Raging waters of post-secondary fears and personal insecurities, I was seeking answers from Him.
When you ask, you will receive.
When you seek, you will find.
And when you knock, the door will be opened to you.
As Diego quoted Saint Teresa of Avila in his talk, "you pay God a compliment when you ask great things of him," and this struck a chord within my heart. Far too often have I believed that my trials would prove to be too difficult and simply impossible for me. And maybe that's why I quit my job at A&W after 9 months. Or why I stopped having 1 on 1's with my household after I believed that they had grown enough and that my job was done. It could also be the reason why I still have doubts about pursuing a career in journalism or even just continuing to post vulnerable content such as this.
But if this True North Conference taught me one thing it is that God asks us to do the impossible because He knows that it is the only way to achieving our own personal holiness. He asks us to venture into the unknown regardless of our fears and sinful past. The Lord desires a complete and total surrender so that He may work through us fully. To become a candle in the wind, enkindling flames that have been put out by the evil of the world and as Jarwin said in his exhortation, even the smallest ray of light is able to pierce the veil of darkness.
I was brought to a profound peace when I found myself kneeling during the Latin mass; trying to follow along to the priest's words and stopping myself from falling asleep. An aching in my knees that I found not painful but rather rewarding. For I knew that without the desire to sit back down, or to fall to the ground, the act in itself would lose its meaning. Wanting to suffer, to endure in order to fulfill His will is all that He could ever ask of us. Saints past have been ridiculed, jailed, and killed for their willingness to serve God and they would gladly do it all over again for they know that their treasure is not on Earth but in Heaven.
They didn't believe in improbable or impossible, they believed in the One who makes all things possible; no matter how demanding or difficult the mission, His will was their will.
TNC taught me to trust in the faith and not the feeling. My fire won't burn this bright for the rest of my life and that is okay because the pursuit of Heaven is not a sprint but a marathon. A long distance run that encompasses my days now as a 17 year old and my days in 10 years, 20 years, 40 years from now until I am called Home.
Feelings and emotions are fleeting but His love is here to stay.
Camps, collectives, assemblies, conferences and all these events will pass but the mission continues whether we are on the highest mountaintop or in the lowest valley.
Because His reach knows no boundaries and He will pursue us to the ends of the Earth just to have us back in His embrace again. So that He may see us Home and in the place where we truly belong, where we find our peace.
So if you are still here, I hope you know that you are loved. If you have trouble believing it or even acknowledging it, He has cared for you ever since you were but a name in His hand and He cares for you now. See Him reaching out to you, asking for your permission to allow Him to take you an incredible journey; one that promises suffering but also an opportunity to be in perfect union with His will. Never forgetting that, "to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)
Let us go onwards with love and upwards with passion as we find our way back - our way Home.
"The world is thy ship, not thy home." - Saint Thérèse of Lisieux
AMDG
Please bear with me as I try to organize my thoughts and feelings in an orderly manner and thank you for taking time out of your day to read this impromptu blog post. This will be a one take post with minimal editing so as to maximize the rawness and authenticity of the writing, yahoo! Before I get into the conference itself, I'm going to provide a little backstory if you will, so that you may better understand the path that brought me to this point in my life.
In March of 2014, I joined the chapter of East 2 through the event, Camp Exalted. Here I was able to learn more about my faith in an intimate environment, as I grew to love and grow comfortable with the unfamiliar faces around me.
Little did I know that one of those unfamiliar faces would one day be my chapter head and one of the wisest brothers I know. Another one of those faces would be on stage at TNC XXV, singing her heart out. While another would be dancing on the Production team whilst also winning Junior Dance for his cluster.
Fast forward to March of 2016, where I was asked to serve as Spec Ops with a service team that I barely knew. Stepping out of my comfort zone and getting to know them brought about wonders for future Rave.
This amazing collection of people would include someone with the highest vocal range of any guy I know, a future chapter head of East 2, a couple of TNC XXV Senior Girls Basketball champions, a brother with the coolest Naruto stickers on his laptop and another brother who still refuses to cut his hair.
Lastly to cap off keystone moments during the last 5 years of my time in CFC-Youth, Camp Vision in November of 2017. Being asked to step up as a household head for 3 incredibly wonderful brothers who continue to surprise me with their growth and passion to serve the Lord despite my own shortcomings as their leader. I am glad for their presence in my life and the impact they've had on my journey to holiness.
And if you've made it this far without closing the tab - July of 2019, True North Conference.
A string of three days that bore fruits of newfound desires and rooted out weeds of bad habits and mindsets. Trust me when I tell you that you can always count on God to call you out when you need to be. And it's not because He is angry or disappointed but simply because He wants the best for us; especially when we believe that all seems lost.
Entering the weekend, I found myself in the midst of a sea of uncertainty. Raging waters of post-secondary fears and personal insecurities, I was seeking answers from Him.
When you ask, you will receive.
When you seek, you will find.
And when you knock, the door will be opened to you.
As Diego quoted Saint Teresa of Avila in his talk, "you pay God a compliment when you ask great things of him," and this struck a chord within my heart. Far too often have I believed that my trials would prove to be too difficult and simply impossible for me. And maybe that's why I quit my job at A&W after 9 months. Or why I stopped having 1 on 1's with my household after I believed that they had grown enough and that my job was done. It could also be the reason why I still have doubts about pursuing a career in journalism or even just continuing to post vulnerable content such as this.
But if this True North Conference taught me one thing it is that God asks us to do the impossible because He knows that it is the only way to achieving our own personal holiness. He asks us to venture into the unknown regardless of our fears and sinful past. The Lord desires a complete and total surrender so that He may work through us fully. To become a candle in the wind, enkindling flames that have been put out by the evil of the world and as Jarwin said in his exhortation, even the smallest ray of light is able to pierce the veil of darkness.
I was brought to a profound peace when I found myself kneeling during the Latin mass; trying to follow along to the priest's words and stopping myself from falling asleep. An aching in my knees that I found not painful but rather rewarding. For I knew that without the desire to sit back down, or to fall to the ground, the act in itself would lose its meaning. Wanting to suffer, to endure in order to fulfill His will is all that He could ever ask of us. Saints past have been ridiculed, jailed, and killed for their willingness to serve God and they would gladly do it all over again for they know that their treasure is not on Earth but in Heaven.
They didn't believe in improbable or impossible, they believed in the One who makes all things possible; no matter how demanding or difficult the mission, His will was their will.
TNC taught me to trust in the faith and not the feeling. My fire won't burn this bright for the rest of my life and that is okay because the pursuit of Heaven is not a sprint but a marathon. A long distance run that encompasses my days now as a 17 year old and my days in 10 years, 20 years, 40 years from now until I am called Home.
Feelings and emotions are fleeting but His love is here to stay.
Camps, collectives, assemblies, conferences and all these events will pass but the mission continues whether we are on the highest mountaintop or in the lowest valley.
Because His reach knows no boundaries and He will pursue us to the ends of the Earth just to have us back in His embrace again. So that He may see us Home and in the place where we truly belong, where we find our peace.
So if you are still here, I hope you know that you are loved. If you have trouble believing it or even acknowledging it, He has cared for you ever since you were but a name in His hand and He cares for you now. See Him reaching out to you, asking for your permission to allow Him to take you an incredible journey; one that promises suffering but also an opportunity to be in perfect union with His will. Never forgetting that, "to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)
Let us go onwards with love and upwards with passion as we find our way back - our way Home.
"The world is thy ship, not thy home." - Saint Thérèse of Lisieux
AMDG
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