Take Me To Holland

Good morning! Whether you're on transit, in class, on your couch, or in your bed, hello. I'm going to try to do these daily spillages of words onto these canvasses; hopefully I can say something meaningful or worthwhile one of these days but thank you for taking the time to read. Hope you enjoy! (If you fall asleep, that's totally okay too.)

If I'm being honest, school has been difficult. (no surprise there) But what I thought would be the worst aspect, (commuting every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for 4-5 hours) hasn't actually been so bad. It gives me time to reflect, read, listen to Bon Iver, and catch up on the sleep that I have obviously been lacking. (Sorry mom)

I go about my days with this care-free & usually optimistic attitude regardless of what I may be going through. I'm not proud to say that I'm fairly skilled at hiding my true mood and emotions; it's something that I am working on. 

This attitude carries itself well until an assignment comes up, then another, one more after that, and an essay for good luck. I definitely do not have the work ethic that I desire and I envision; especially considering how post-secondary life can be a burden on both one's body and mind. 

However if you feel this way, know that you aren't the only one - I'm going through it as well! It's literally the sunniest day today and yet I sense this cloud of uncertainty hanging over my head; a cloud with wisps of a Philosophy midterm on Friday, a History essay due in less than two weeks, and an English essay a week after that. Woohoo! (All of which I have not begun preparing for) 

I expected to do at least a fraction of preparations yesterday at Starbucks but I spent that time instead working on a stack / pile of simple English Kumon worksheets. II spent two hours tracing, writing, filling in blanks with simple words whilst also drinking a grande hot chocolate. It's truly okay however because I was able to give my right hand a slight workout and my brain a refresher on simple grammar terms like nouns, verbs, and adjectives. The (Re) stacks are still a work in progress and I have to finish them by tomorrow so that's another thing to look forward to! With schoolwork and personal errands to do, I am taking a literal dive into the water of student life once again; my worst fears have been realized. 

Summer is truly over. 

With all these tasks and deadlines comes this temptation to succumb to the worry and fear that accompanies these activities. Every now and then I have to remind myself that it is October; two months from the end of the year and the beginning of a new one. I'm slowly learning to take each day one a time - prioritizing consistency over this desire to have everything figured out immediately. I am taking my time to understand that there are some things in my life that I am simply not meant to figure out yet. With this comes a peace that allows me to live not for perfect grades or flawless essays; but for the passion I have when it comes to writing, interacting with people and taking things slowly. 

With that, I wish you a wonderful day. I encourage you to try to go for a walk today if you can - soak in the sunshine and listen to the sounds of nature like Saint Francis of Assisi would. But don't dress like him though, wear something warm and cozy because the high today is only 10 degrees. (Winter is coming!!!) (But Autumn is still here!!!) (Let's go have some fun!!!) 

AMDG