Long Distance (Absolute Banger)
Hello! I hope you've been well and that school hasn't been too terrible. But if it has, know that you are not alone - I am there with you. I should probably be catching up on my readings (sorry Prof. Deer) but I have wanted to finish this blog for quite some time now. I don't usually write blogs over a span of a couple of days but there's a first time for everything.
Lately, I have been dwelling on the human state of exhaustion and fatigue - in simpler terms, being tired.
I remember when I used to play basketball in grade 10, how much I dreaded going to conditioning sessions. An hour spent doing a lap under 1 minute 20 then a 100m sprint under 10 seconds, all the way around the track, twice. To ease your thinking, it is more running than your typical Filipino basketball boy (and girl) would like to do on a weekly basis. I literally wanted to throw up during the first session but somehow, someway, I pulled through!
A feeling that I will never forget however was the sensation of finishing that last lap, that last sprint and hearing the sacred words, "Alright! Let's stretch it out."
It was at that moment that I knew the session was over and a signal for me to relax, to ease up. It didn't last long however because I would always think ahead to the next session; you can see how much of a burden that can be on one's mind.
Someone once told me that worrying is suffering twice.
My problem right now is not that I'm worrying however, it is that I feel as if I am so swamped with my personal activities & obligations that I no longer have time to process all the anxiety, fear & doubt that I feel! All in all, I am tired and am just trying to live out each day with a little less strength than I had the day before. Eventually I'll run out of this strength but it's important to acknowledge when I know that I cannot carry this all. A point in time where I have to admit my fatigue not in order to submit to it but rather to embrace it as a part of my life. I am human and I suffer from the physical limitations of being a human, which ultimately is a blessing in itself.
Growing weary means that you are trying, putting in effort means that you are living and life is just a series of trying again & again; regardless of the stumbles or missteps. Each an episode even more exciting than the last, a story arc more interesting than its predecessor. Your movie might be an action film, a Marvel epic or even a Christopher Nolan drama; the important thing to keep in mind is that you are the protagonist. You hold your own story in your hands.
In the same manner, this stretch of tiredness or exhaustion you may be enduring right now is part of your character development. Without this weight on your shoulders, there is no conflict, no progression, no story. The burden not intended to break you down but to give you an opportunity to persevere, to persist, to live. And remember God does not give something that He knows we cannot handle. Of course we cannot carry it all by ourselves but that's why we have our family, our friends, and our Father.
Who's love stays the same whether on the peak of the mountain or the depths of the ocean. In the light of our own goodness and victories but even more so in the shadows of our sins, our failures.
We recognize our inability but we must also acknowledge His ability to do literally everything. All we have to do is ask.
Sometimes, it becomes difficult to be tired.
Somedays, being alive is already a challenging task in itself.
However like the Lord constantly reminds us in our lives, through the people we encounter & the experiences we live - there is a plan and a will much, much greater than our own. Something that we will never understand but is meant to lead us, guide us and carry us to new heights and frontiers.
Sure there are days where the clouds seem to hang above our heads even though the sun is shining through our bedroom window, a small blot of light in a sky intimately held by an overcast.
The overcast won't hold the sky forever, but neither will the sun - it is a give and take relationship. Much like life which at times may take more than it gives but it does indeed, give. Let us focus more on not what is taken but what is given. Gratitude over disappointment.
At this moment, a part of me is afraid. Fearful of not succeeding at school, failing to do well at my new workplace, balancing my time with family & friends whilst keeping myself together, sanity and body intact.
The Lord reminds me through the words of Saint Thérèse,
The good God says to me, "Give always without concerning yourself with results."
It is through this message that I am able to recognize that although I may feel tired or burdened; there are countless others just like me who may not have the voice to speak or the will to share their burden. Not because they are prideful and self-righteous but because they have not been shown the love that I (and you) are so well equipped to reveal to them. And that regardless of what may happen, the act of sharing our love, care and attention to them is all that He asks us to do. Fatigue is not an excuse to forget the mission that He has given us but rather a reminder of it.
So that although we may have a rough day at school, we can still lend a smile to a stranger in need of it.
We may not do well on a test but we can be happy for our friend who did.
We're unsure about our future goals but we can support someone who's determined to accomplish theirs.
We are tired but not defeated. There's a difference between taking breaks & giving up, something that isn't measured by the time taken but by the intention behind each retreat from life, from the stress. Are we isolating ourselves because we need time alone or is it because we are afraid to share our struggles with others? Of allowing ourselves to be loved. Challenging as it may be, at the end of the day; people need people.
I am forever grateful for those who have checked up on me and kept me accountable even when I may have failed to be there for them in the past.
It it is through this people that I am reminded that there is always more to be done, more to be given.
If all you have is all that you give, that is all anyone could ever ask for. A simple, "I hope you have a good day today!", can go a long way in the life of someone who receives those greetings sparingly. You really never know the effect that you may have on someone else's life with little acts such as these.
I leave you with a song lyric from the song Re:Stacks by Bon Iver,
"Everything that happens is from now on."
The things you've done are in the past, the things you are yet to do are in the future but as of right now, you are you. Someone who is moving forward; regardless of how you feel. As days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years, years into lifetimes - remember that you are moving forward.
Keep your head high and walk,
step by step,
breath after breath,
onwards and upwards.
AMDG
Lately, I have been dwelling on the human state of exhaustion and fatigue - in simpler terms, being tired.
I remember when I used to play basketball in grade 10, how much I dreaded going to conditioning sessions. An hour spent doing a lap under 1 minute 20 then a 100m sprint under 10 seconds, all the way around the track, twice. To ease your thinking, it is more running than your typical Filipino basketball boy (and girl) would like to do on a weekly basis. I literally wanted to throw up during the first session but somehow, someway, I pulled through!
A feeling that I will never forget however was the sensation of finishing that last lap, that last sprint and hearing the sacred words, "Alright! Let's stretch it out."
It was at that moment that I knew the session was over and a signal for me to relax, to ease up. It didn't last long however because I would always think ahead to the next session; you can see how much of a burden that can be on one's mind.Someone once told me that worrying is suffering twice.
My problem right now is not that I'm worrying however, it is that I feel as if I am so swamped with my personal activities & obligations that I no longer have time to process all the anxiety, fear & doubt that I feel! All in all, I am tired and am just trying to live out each day with a little less strength than I had the day before. Eventually I'll run out of this strength but it's important to acknowledge when I know that I cannot carry this all. A point in time where I have to admit my fatigue not in order to submit to it but rather to embrace it as a part of my life. I am human and I suffer from the physical limitations of being a human, which ultimately is a blessing in itself.
Growing weary means that you are trying, putting in effort means that you are living and life is just a series of trying again & again; regardless of the stumbles or missteps. Each an episode even more exciting than the last, a story arc more interesting than its predecessor. Your movie might be an action film, a Marvel epic or even a Christopher Nolan drama; the important thing to keep in mind is that you are the protagonist. You hold your own story in your hands.
In the same manner, this stretch of tiredness or exhaustion you may be enduring right now is part of your character development. Without this weight on your shoulders, there is no conflict, no progression, no story. The burden not intended to break you down but to give you an opportunity to persevere, to persist, to live. And remember God does not give something that He knows we cannot handle. Of course we cannot carry it all by ourselves but that's why we have our family, our friends, and our Father.
Who's love stays the same whether on the peak of the mountain or the depths of the ocean. In the light of our own goodness and victories but even more so in the shadows of our sins, our failures.
We recognize our inability but we must also acknowledge His ability to do literally everything. All we have to do is ask.
Sometimes, it becomes difficult to be tired.
Somedays, being alive is already a challenging task in itself.
However like the Lord constantly reminds us in our lives, through the people we encounter & the experiences we live - there is a plan and a will much, much greater than our own. Something that we will never understand but is meant to lead us, guide us and carry us to new heights and frontiers.
Sure there are days where the clouds seem to hang above our heads even though the sun is shining through our bedroom window, a small blot of light in a sky intimately held by an overcast.The overcast won't hold the sky forever, but neither will the sun - it is a give and take relationship. Much like life which at times may take more than it gives but it does indeed, give. Let us focus more on not what is taken but what is given. Gratitude over disappointment.
At this moment, a part of me is afraid. Fearful of not succeeding at school, failing to do well at my new workplace, balancing my time with family & friends whilst keeping myself together, sanity and body intact.
The Lord reminds me through the words of Saint Thérèse,
The good God says to me, "Give always without concerning yourself with results."
It is through this message that I am able to recognize that although I may feel tired or burdened; there are countless others just like me who may not have the voice to speak or the will to share their burden. Not because they are prideful and self-righteous but because they have not been shown the love that I (and you) are so well equipped to reveal to them. And that regardless of what may happen, the act of sharing our love, care and attention to them is all that He asks us to do. Fatigue is not an excuse to forget the mission that He has given us but rather a reminder of it.
So that although we may have a rough day at school, we can still lend a smile to a stranger in need of it.
We may not do well on a test but we can be happy for our friend who did.
We're unsure about our future goals but we can support someone who's determined to accomplish theirs.
We are tired but not defeated. There's a difference between taking breaks & giving up, something that isn't measured by the time taken but by the intention behind each retreat from life, from the stress. Are we isolating ourselves because we need time alone or is it because we are afraid to share our struggles with others? Of allowing ourselves to be loved. Challenging as it may be, at the end of the day; people need people.
I am forever grateful for those who have checked up on me and kept me accountable even when I may have failed to be there for them in the past.It it is through this people that I am reminded that there is always more to be done, more to be given.
If all you have is all that you give, that is all anyone could ever ask for. A simple, "I hope you have a good day today!", can go a long way in the life of someone who receives those greetings sparingly. You really never know the effect that you may have on someone else's life with little acts such as these.
I leave you with a song lyric from the song Re:Stacks by Bon Iver,
"Everything that happens is from now on."
The things you've done are in the past, the things you are yet to do are in the future but as of right now, you are you. Someone who is moving forward; regardless of how you feel. As days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years, years into lifetimes - remember that you are moving forward.
Keep your head high and walk,
step by step,
breath after breath,
onwards and upwards.
AMDG
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