Shrike

Dear friend,

      I believe that I have written at least two thousand words today for my creative writing class and it is a very foreign feeling; to write as much as I have written yet still yearning to write more. I daydream about this often but that's all they are, simply dreams. It's quite another thing to actually live it out. 

     Truth be told, I am very intimated by the people in my class, I'm pretty certain that one of them is already an author who's seeking a refresher course to improve his writing. How cool! My friend is also in this class and I'm very excited to be working with her; it's her first year at this school and I really hope that she enjoys it so that we can take more classes in the future with all of our other friends that are also are classmates. 

       There's a deep uncertainty during these times, so it's not unusual to go to sleep thinking one thing only to be woken up by something totally different. I guess all that I'm looking for is simply consistency. I don't think I'll get it though, which is alright with me. There's excitement to be felt when venturing into the unknown, a heart that's ready and willing for all that life has in store. I'm trying to remain optimistic with my current situation, telling myself that it's okay to take a break from studying to watch a short movie or listen to a few songs because people need to rest. 

      We aren't meant to work like robots, nor meant to simply exist like air which is essential to survive. We are living creatures capable of great things. So I think we deserve a rest from time to time. You can't give what you don't have so, take it easy. Although I am almost turning nineteen, I consider myself to be very young. The last few years have definitely added to my lifetime though, and I am forever changed. It's interesting to witness how much can change in such a short time. 

       One day, you're in bed with tears in your eyes and a heavy soul, and the next you're at your desk with a book in your hand and no worries at all in your heart. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the good days are bound to come. But just like everything else in life, they'll pass, before eventually coming back again. I find it easy to lie to myself about how seemingly short of a time I have on this Earth, and that I should do everything I plan to do right at this moment without caring about anything else. I think that's somewhat wrong though. There's no need to rush life because it moves forward whether you're rushing or not. 

      I think it becomes easier to live when you slow yourself down. When you just sit in your chair and stare at your cabinet, weary eyes losing and finding themselves in the infinite life that is presented in front of you every single day. People say that there is an eternity waiting for us after death, I agree with that. But I also believe that there is an eternity within all of our days, one that can be lived if we simply take a breath, slow down, sit, and be. 

       I'm trying to write more by hand because my eyes begin to hurt after staring at a computer screen for too long. It's good to take breaks from electronics. To remind yourself that you're connected to everything and everyone around you, one way or another. I think that if I shut my laptop down for an hour, or hide my phone for two, I'll have more time to tell my friends that they are beautiful, and more time to remind myself of that same belief when I do not believe it is so. To have faith in the life that I've been blessed to have, remaining grateful for all that is and hopeful for all that might be; living becomes lighter this way.  

      Nonetheless, always remember that I'm here on both the good days and the bad days, writing to you. When all of those days and those things and these words come to pass, we will remain here - loved all the same. 

With hope,

Rave

Kyutae Lee, 2016