Robin
Hi there! Another day, another blog post. I'm sitting here in my aunt's apartment in Sudbury, Ontario and the rain is pouring. It genuinely feels like another day in Surrey sometime in early February or even late November. The 4 hour 14 minute flight from Abbotsford to Hamilton gave me more than enough time to ponder certain things in my life. And if you've made it this far on my blog, I am finally going to discuss the topic of relationships and romance in my life.
I love love. Whether it be the parental love of my father and mother or the brotherly love shared between me and some of my greatest friends. However, I won't lie when I say that I have also always longed for a relationship with a girl.
"Oooo, Rave wants a girlfriend! Aww."
(Literally my sister anytime she sees me alone or looking, "lonely" at the dinner table, sitting and scrolling through social media)
There has always been that yearning for a companion; someone I can share my affection and love with. Whether it was in grade seven or even now in my grade twelve year, it's a desire that has stayed with me for as long as I can remember. And it has more often than not, caused more disappointment and hurt than authentic happiness and joy. Liking someone and finding out they liked someone else felt like getting hit by a runaway train and it brought about feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
Seeking romance and a significant other led to me forgetting about my own personal development and my identity as a person. I would get so caught up with trying to impress this one person, trying my absolute best in order to get their attention and affection only to be left feeling empty and ultimately unfulfilled. Love from this person was more important than my own love, that I was supposed to show to myself. Me in all of my imperfections and insecurities.
Throughout the past five years, I've learned that I don't need someone to show affection for me, I can do that myself. I don't need a girl's admiration, I need my own; especially when it feels like it's me against the world. Hey you know what, at least I didn't get caught up in the whole "fboi" culture filled with materialistic love and temporary pleasure. I genuinely believe that I seek a love and a relationship that is selfless, sacrificial and pure in spirit. A love that doesn't expect anything from the other person but rather gives whatever I have regardless. Whether it be a kind smile, a simple "how are you?" or even a random gift of flowers. That old-school love.
A love that gives rather than takes.
A love that includes meaningful and genuine conversations focused on getting to know the other person better.
A love that shows up to their door, with flowers and a cup of coffee when they say they're having a bad day.
A love that gives his jacket to her when he sees that she's shivering and cold.
A love that writes letters and handwritten notes, rather than long paragraphs on text.
A love that doesn't make out but rather holds hands and walks together side by side in the rain.
A love that doesn't take her to parties but to benches in a park or near the beach.
A love that drinks earl grey, not alcohol.
A love that doesn't vape. Seriously, no vaping.
And finally, a love that lasts.
A relationship that leads to marriage and not just heartbreak and disappointment. Something that endures all the long nights, the sense of boredom and dissatisfaction and the temptations of the secular world. Knowing that the sustenance of the relationship is more important than one's own pride and selfishness. Acknowledging that not every day is going to be memorable or special, but choosing to love them anyway. Love is a choice, and it's something that is worthwhile if one is willing to sacrifice and put their pride away. When we let someone into our lives we are giving them a piece of our heart, trusting that they will not break it but rather help it grow and expand in genuine love.
I am slowly learning that there is no such thing as love at first sight or even The One. There is only loving those in our lives despite their imperfections and faults against us. Whether or not this girl feels the same way about me, I am going to love her all the same because she is worth it and she deserves it. It'll hurt of course but as Mother Teresa said, "if you love until hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
"Actually, there is a word for that. It’s love. I’m in love with her, okay?
If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. And when you love someone you just, you…you don’t stop, ever.
Even when people roll their eyes, and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just– you don’t give up.
Because if I could just give up…if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice and– and move on and find someone else, that wouldn’t be love.
That would be… that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for. But I– that is not what this is."
Amare
I love love. Whether it be the parental love of my father and mother or the brotherly love shared between me and some of my greatest friends. However, I won't lie when I say that I have also always longed for a relationship with a girl.
"Oooo, Rave wants a girlfriend! Aww."
(Literally my sister anytime she sees me alone or looking, "lonely" at the dinner table, sitting and scrolling through social media)
There has always been that yearning for a companion; someone I can share my affection and love with. Whether it was in grade seven or even now in my grade twelve year, it's a desire that has stayed with me for as long as I can remember. And it has more often than not, caused more disappointment and hurt than authentic happiness and joy. Liking someone and finding out they liked someone else felt like getting hit by a runaway train and it brought about feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
Seeking romance and a significant other led to me forgetting about my own personal development and my identity as a person. I would get so caught up with trying to impress this one person, trying my absolute best in order to get their attention and affection only to be left feeling empty and ultimately unfulfilled. Love from this person was more important than my own love, that I was supposed to show to myself. Me in all of my imperfections and insecurities.Throughout the past five years, I've learned that I don't need someone to show affection for me, I can do that myself. I don't need a girl's admiration, I need my own; especially when it feels like it's me against the world. Hey you know what, at least I didn't get caught up in the whole "fboi" culture filled with materialistic love and temporary pleasure. I genuinely believe that I seek a love and a relationship that is selfless, sacrificial and pure in spirit. A love that doesn't expect anything from the other person but rather gives whatever I have regardless. Whether it be a kind smile, a simple "how are you?" or even a random gift of flowers. That old-school love.
A love that gives rather than takes.
A love that includes meaningful and genuine conversations focused on getting to know the other person better.
A love that shows up to their door, with flowers and a cup of coffee when they say they're having a bad day.
A love that gives his jacket to her when he sees that she's shivering and cold.
A love that writes letters and handwritten notes, rather than long paragraphs on text.
A love that doesn't make out but rather holds hands and walks together side by side in the rain.
A love that doesn't take her to parties but to benches in a park or near the beach.
A love that drinks earl grey, not alcohol.
A love that doesn't vape. Seriously, no vaping.
And finally, a love that lasts.
A relationship that leads to marriage and not just heartbreak and disappointment. Something that endures all the long nights, the sense of boredom and dissatisfaction and the temptations of the secular world. Knowing that the sustenance of the relationship is more important than one's own pride and selfishness. Acknowledging that not every day is going to be memorable or special, but choosing to love them anyway. Love is a choice, and it's something that is worthwhile if one is willing to sacrifice and put their pride away. When we let someone into our lives we are giving them a piece of our heart, trusting that they will not break it but rather help it grow and expand in genuine love.
I am slowly learning that there is no such thing as love at first sight or even The One. There is only loving those in our lives despite their imperfections and faults against us. Whether or not this girl feels the same way about me, I am going to love her all the same because she is worth it and she deserves it. It'll hurt of course but as Mother Teresa said, "if you love until hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
"Actually, there is a word for that. It’s love. I’m in love with her, okay?
If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. And when you love someone you just, you…you don’t stop, ever.
Even when people roll their eyes, and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just– you don’t give up.
Because if I could just give up…if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice and– and move on and find someone else, that wouldn’t be love.
That would be… that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for. But I– that is not what this is."
Amare
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